Sunday, January 22, 2012

"...family has never been about the promotion of rights but about the surrender of them – by both the man and the woman."


 What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us: why happiness eludes the modern woman by Danielle Crittenden

My instantaneous, knee-jerk reaction to this book I have already recorded; now it's time for the more sensible, thoughtful comments that I must have within me somewhere. I really did appreciate and like this book. Thing is, I don't know if anyone with an opposite viewpoint would ever be able to not throw it across the room. No offense to the sexually-liberated feminists; I would totally understand. But I wish they would all read it anyhow - I try to be omnivourous with the stuff I read, instead of sticking to things I agree with and I find it really interesting, sometimes, though difficult. The idea of the book is that modern feminism has, inadvertently, done as much to disempower women socially as it has to enfranchise them. A daring concept, I know. And the book makes its point fairly well, describing how the breaking down of social structures has damaged male-female social relations, going through such issues as co-ed bathrooms and sexual harrassment lawsuits. The arguments made seem to me very relevant - particularly as regards the divisive issues of work vs family, divorce, biological clocks, the feminine 'disease of compassion', equality within marriage, one night stands, the guilt of daycare, single parenthood, and all their attending pros and cons.
On the whole, I don't know how to adequately sum up or pick apart What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us on my own - I would dearly love to discuss this book with a person who disagreed with it and see what kind of conclusions we came to.


"No one compels us to have babies. When we do bear them, we have an obligation to care for them, no matter how dull and tiring it may be.. The local Humane Society will not let you adopt a puppy if you work full-time, Why should our standards for children be any less? Yet the feminist wisdom has been that the child should always be the first spinning plate a woman drops even if it's the one most precious to her."